I've forgotten more about lying than most people ever know.

     I have like 20 points on my drivers license for various violations.  Fortunately for me the Florida DMV is so disorganized they are unaware of it and have not suspended my license.
     I was driving through a suburb of Chicago working on some real estate photos the other day and was not aware of how fast I was going. I was stopped for speeding and the police officer said I was going 20 miles per hour over the posted speed limit. I knew I was going to have to be pretty creative in order to get out of this ticket. When the officer asked for my drivers license I told him it got suspended after I was arrested for my second DUI. He said what about registration? I told him the registration was in the glove compartment next to a .38 caliber pistol that I used to kill the fellow I had stuffed in the trunk. He began to back away from the vehicle clenching his pistol while using his radio to call for back-up.
     Within a few minutes more than five police cars had me completely surrounded. The chief of the local police department, who was an expert negotiator, was sent over to have a little one-on-one talk with me. He asked me my name and I handed him my drivers license like there was no issue. He said "I thought you didn't have a drivers license." I said "sure I have one" and I assured him it was valid. He then said "what about the body in the trunk?" I laughed and assured him there was no body in the trunk. He said "officer O'Connor told me that you admitted to having a dead body in the trunk." I said "well Officer O'Connor is obviously lying because there is no body in the trunk." "He is probably lying to you about how fast I was going too.